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How to date a Parisian girl – Episode 1


There is some adventures a courageous man should try before he dies, like boxing a shark, hunting a robot dinosaur, discovering the cure against cancer and if he is really fearless… trying to date a Parisian Girl

How to Spot a Real Parisian girl.

First of all, a Parisian girl is a girl who live in Paris, being for 2 weeks in Paris doesn’t makes you a Parisian girl.

Dressing like your mother is Coco Chanel doesn’t makes you a Parisian girl either.

A Parisian girl is a stylish, sexy, ( she is sure of it ) and snobbish woman.

The Looks:

The traditional Parisian girl is never without her little ballerina flats.

If you see that she’s got a designer bag and sunglasses when its raining then it’s a Parisian.

If she is : eating, smiling, being punctual, being polite, speaking about science … then it’s a foreigner.

lets have a little game: try to find the Parisian girl in this image ( this two live in Paris )

Smoking.

Parisian girls where born with a cigarette in the mouth, they smoke all the time, in all occasions and for any reason :

stress, happiness, hungriness, the guy in the movie died, sister calling, mother calling, being a woman, seeing a duck, etc …

If you smoke : you will die soon

If you don’t smoke : Start to smock today because she will never stop for you.

The Lifestyle

Parisian girls are always broke because all the money they won goes directly to clothes.

They never eat, never have any kind of cultural activity non-related to fashion, because they are too broke.

- Him : lets go out tonight, movie? play? museum ? art exibition ?

- Her : Sorry but i am out of money,  this Dior bag killed my banker.

where to find them.

Parisian girls are every-where in Paris.

They stand here and there looking like statues, being so happy to be themselves.

They often are phoning someone to show to every one they got an i phone and a secret lover that no one cares about.

They run, with huge bags, they run to show mankind that they are busy doing some active fashion woman things.

And if you have a doubt about her just ask her anything in English, if she say ” heeuu i cant spik anglish” you can be sure.

If you don’t want to look in the Paris streets for a girl, you can find them in those place too.

* Fashion Shops

* Parties with annoying people who are almost every time lawyers, but pretend to be working in advertising.

* Restaurants where you can eat nothing but pay a lot.

* Outside cafés : with some cigarettes in hands.

* Learning a dance that no one dance since 1898.

The First Encounter.

So now you found your target.

time to be seductive.

But how ?

1 - Don’t be funny : funny men are smiling and smiling is not fashion.

2- Don’t make jokes : jokes are for looser who actually have human heart.

3- Don’t speak about everyday life : your in Paris !! your life is like moulin rouge even when you are sick as hell.

4- Pretend to be an artist : Parisian girls love artists, but don’t forget to not invite her to visit an art exhibition because she is broke.

5- Don’t be yourself : pretend to never fart and never eat, you was born in a rich family where you learned to play tennis and drink tea

6- Don’t try to speak about fashion, if you make any error it will be like you insulted her mother

7- Pretend to care about her job which will most of the time be into a fashion shop, stylist, in an art Gallery, or a sexy waitress.

8- Ignore Her most of the time :  she will do the same anyway, but at least you will not lost all your dignity trying to keep her attention on your meaningless desire to speak to her.

9- Don’t ask about her friends or familly : she dont have any, the world started with her and it will finish with her.

10 – DON’T be a GEEK !! Keep that in your mind, pretend to be a alpha male that was made out of iron, never speak about Star Wars, aliens, dinosaurs, robots, science, animals, exobiology etc…

indeed, if you are reading this blog, don’t mention it to her.

Episode 2 : the first Date

Please give me your feedback in the comments.

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16 Responses to “How to date a Parisian girl – Episode 1”

  1. dina says:

    Awesome blog, you should really write a book instead. !!

  2. Anonymous says:

    I love it

  3. Nico says:

    C’est tellement vrai…

  4. pierre says:

    sacrebleu !
    lucky for us they are not all like that…almost
    a poor parisian guy

  5. le roncier says:

    So true. Also works when you’re gay. :)

  6. La perchée says:

    Je ne dois pas être parisienne alors ! :D
    mais très drôle ! et je suis d’accord avec Dina –> écris un livre !

  7. Mathieu s says:

    merci !!
    je vais déjà écrire l’épisode 2 avant de sortir le bouquin … :)

  8. cLEM says:

    I cant spik anglish but i can tel you zat I love it. Très drôle :) !

  9. Mathieu s says:

    fanque iou vairi muche mai dir clem

  10. Morgane says:

    ouf ! suis banlieusarde (pour une fois que ça joue en ma faveur…). very relevant anyway, waiting for a best-seller

  11. Mathieu s says:

    Merci !!

    si tu connais un éditeur ?

  12. Lise says:

    Great job :) well done !

  13. Anonymous says:

    Then what do we say?

  14. Ripley says:

    Très drôle. Je cours vers l’épisode 2.

  15. Mathieu S says:

    Merci !

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